Greetings from the Amazon jungle!
I'm sorry it has been a while since I posted anything new. I've gone back and forth on if I should write this blog or not and finally I decided it is necessary. In cross-cultural training they advised us to write blogs or emails as often as possible, but to be very careful about what we were writing. In other words, they said it's not the greatest idea to write when you are having a bad day.
I've done my best to be truthful and at the same time be careful in want I have written. It's time for me to be really honest with all of you.
My time here in Peru has been the hardest thing I have ever done. Really, it's only been since we got here to Iquitos, our time in Arequipa was great....well minus the whole car wreck :(.
Let me tell you a little about cultural shock. Cultural shock is horrible, there aren't really any words to describe it, just personal experiences. A friend once said Regin Spektor's song "Eat" best describes it when she says "It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song, you can't believe it, you were always singing along, it was so easy and the words so sweet, you can't remember, you try to feel the beat". We all have a favorite song, yes? And when we hear the first note to that song, we are already singing and maybe even dancing around. Thank about if you heard that song and you knew it was your favorite song but no words were coming to mind and worse it's like the whole song has been muted. You are no longer dancing around, you are standing in udder dismay, shock and ultimately, pain.
A while back I wrote my Mom and expressed to her how I felt that I had lost myself. I no longer knew how to be me in English or Spanish. I felt as though I had been completely removed from my body, placed on the outside and forced to watch this person try to live her life. I could no longer express my thoughts or feelings.......because I no longer had any.
As if that was not enough, we all know that Satan loves to attack when we are weakest. I have always know and believed that, "...our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil.." I have struggled with issues of and from my past, things I thought I had dealt with and given to God. I have struggled with things that I never would have dreamed would be issues in my life. Two 40/40's and two families have gone home since I arrived here almost 6 months ago. This is not a little short term missions trip, this is the real deal people. Satan is doing EVERYTHING he can to make this organization fail.
I'm asking each of you to dig a little deeper and pray a little harder. Cry out to God, plead with him for our protection, that He would give us the strength to fight the enemy. I know that I have a family at home praying for me because if I didn't I would not still be here. We are doing our very best and fighting with all we've got but, we are growing weary. 2 Corinthians 4:1 and 4:16 says " Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart." "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."
We need you to come alongside us, pick us up when we have fallen, encourage us when we are ready to give up, and most of all love us and remind us of why we are here . YOU our supporters, our friends and our families are part of the reason we are here. God choose each of you to be apart of this ministry through your prayers and through your giving. Isaiah 41:9 says " I took you from the ends of the earth, from it's farthest corners I called you. I said 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you." This verse has brought me great encouragement, knowing that this is from God, this was and is not a Brittany thing. Remember you too have been choose!
A heartfelt thank you to each and everyone of you who are fighting with us! Thank you for your love and prayers! I close this blog with a very humble and GRATEFUL heart! With Love, Brittany